We have again entered a new year, the year of our LORD 2001.  It hardly seems like a year ago that we were waiting for the turn of the century.  Many of us ask, “Where has the time gone!”  We may however, look back in gratitude to our covenant God, for having blessed us in so many ways, especially the freedom of worship and the opportunity to be busy with His most Holy Word.

In front of you is the first issue of this year’s “Together We Serve” magazine.  As you read through it, you will notice that the topic for this (and the following) issue is “Discipline”.

As mentioned earlier, a proposal to make one of the churches responsible for the February edition of our magazine was adopted.  The women of Armadale Bible Study Societies have contributed the contents of this magazine.  Each church will follow in alphabetical order.  The women societies of Byford have till early September to hand over their contribution to their League representatives.  I have no doubt, when your turn comes around, you too will look forward to making your contribution.  You may write your own or pass on something you may have read elsewhere.

The fortnightly Bible study meetings are about to begin again.  What a privilege to be a child of God and busy ourselves with that which our Father has to say to us, via His Word!  But do we still regard the study of God’s Word as a great privilege and make the most of this opportunity?

For many years now, our clubs begin in the expectation of an increase in attendance.  However, year after year many clubs face disappointment.  Several Bible study clubs carry on with very few members who attend on a regular basis.  In many instances there continues to be a long members list, when in reality many of those are members in name only.

Not only do we deceive ourselves but we also fail in our duty towards our fellow sisters (there are of course those who are genuinely unable to attend.)

The world around us regards one’s own needs and materialistic desires as top priority.  The result is “Me thinks of Me and Me’s own things first.”  “Me’s not got time for others because Me’s very busy with Me’sself.”

In stark contrast, the covenant child of God knows that to “seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you” is what gives us lasting joy.

Our gracious God, who did not spare His own Beloved Son but gave Him up to die for you and me has promised to be our Faithful Father.

To seek God’s Kingdom first, flows forth out of a thankful heart, the heart of one who knows herself to be undeserving of God’s love for sinners.

May we continue to encourage each other to attend the meetings regularly and pray for one another so that we may have a fruitful year of Bible study.

Not only for our benefit but in particular for the benefit of others.

Remember ladies, “TOGETHER WE SERVE”.

Have you ever been to a wedding party where a play is done about a bride or groom?  Often the actors in the play are friends or family members and therefore familiar with the person they are acting out.  They can act out mannerisms and characteristics that have a striking resemblance to the person being portrayed.  The point being made is this.  We as parents are to image God in the way we bring up our children. 

Therefore, without a good knowledge of God and His will, we cannot hope to come close to fulfilling this task.

Even though this is an ongoing process, we must still cover the basic points of our knowledge of God.  Let us begin in Genesis 1.

God had a definite purpose and plan for His creational work.  His whole creational work was a reflection of His glory and perfection.  We read “And God saw that is was good”, after each thing was created.  Then, when we come to the creation of man, we have a more detailed account, not only of the creational work itself but also what sort of being man is to represent and the purpose of his creation.  This extra detail is especially put there for us so that we may know who we are and the purpose of our creation.

Firstly, we are the crown jewel of God’s creational work.  Genesis 1:26, then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness.”  As a creational work it is distinctly different from the rest of God’s creation.

Man is endowed with attributes that set him apart.  These attributes give him the ability to have “dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air and over cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

The key word here then is “dominion”.  How then is man’s position of “dominion” an image of God?  Well, we need only to reflect on the creational work itself.  Here God shows His dominion over all the elements by creating the heavens and the earth.  In His creation He sets a kind of order which is unique and is a reflection of His character.  We also see God’s parental care for His children, Adam and Eve, in the sequence of creational events.  God created everything necessary for man’s sustenance as well as the things necessary for him to carry out his mandate before He actually created man himself.  Then after his creation He did not leave man to wander aimlessly on the face of the earth but as a true parent, He instructs His children by giving them a mandate.  “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it...”  Could man turn around and say he had been given an impossible task?  No, not at all, for before He gives them this mandate, we read at the beginning of verse 28, “Then God blessed them.”  To receive God’s blessings is to know that we do not walk through life alone.  He is ever present and we need never fear.  God continued to communicate with His children on a regular basis.  They recognised the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day.

For all these gifts and blessings, God in return demanded total obedience and all praise which was due to Him.  Continual blessing required obedience, for disobedience would incur God’s wrath and curse.  In this way God’s dominion over His creation is seen also in His justice.  Being a righteous God means there is no room for unrighteousness.

Yet we know, all that has just been said, happened BEFORE the fall into sin.  WE could never HOPE to image a God like this.  We have lost our original state.  Yet, unless we fully realise how everything was before the fall, we will not appreciate the mercy our Heavenly Father shows to His children.  In His dominion over all things, His mercy is revealed.  We must always remember that the whole of Scripture was written for the instruction of fallen man.  For even though we are all under the curse of death and Satan’s domain, we may see that God has the ultimate dominion over Satan’s realm.  This was fully realised when Christ conquered Satan.  Satan could no longer come before God to accuse His elect.  Here we see that we need not rely on our own strength, for it is God who snatches us out of Satan’s domain.  Philippians 2:13. 

From here we can then move on to see how we as parents CAN and MUST image God.  We saw how God provided all things for man to fulfil his mandate before the fall.  We must also look to God for all we need in our mandate today, especially in our task as parents.

Just as God prepared all things and set the world in order before He created man and placed him in it, so we, before we contemplate marriage and with this the raising of a family (should God graciously give children), must see the importance of setting our lives in order.  Our spiritual lives, first and foremost.

We know that unless we are confessing members, we need not request to be married by the church and receive God’s official blessing on our marriage.  Even though we may be confessing members, we are still visited by the elders to see if we truly want to marry IN THE LORD.  This is not the final okay, for the next step is the announcement to the congregation, in which the congregation is asked to bring forward any objections.  All these steps are taken to protect the holiness of marriage and that God’s blessing may not be held in contempt.  God’s creation was for HIS honour and glory.  So our marriage and the fruit of our marriage should be used for this purpose.

So apart from spiritual preparation, we also acknowledge the need to be able to care for and sustain ourselves.  For we read in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”  The leaving of father and mother is just as much a command as the being joined to his wife.  This means moving out of the family house and standing on our own two feet.  We must prepare our lives so that we can become an independent family nucleus.  With independence from our father and mother, there should come a greater awareness of our dependence on our Heavenly Father.  In the relationship between husband and wife, they have to learn to reflect the relationship of Christ the Bridegroom and the Church, His Bride.  This bond between Christ and His Church is for the benefit of the members, His children.  Therefore, a proper and healthy relationship between husband and wife is essential for their task as parents.

This healthy relationship is built on an acceptance in faith of the order God has set.  This order is clearly set out in our form for marriage, which clearly quotes the relevant scriptural passages.

Here is an example of how important it is for us to maintain the order God has set in creation.

A father may not like the way a child is dressed for Catechism or youth club.  He therefore tells his child to change into more appropriate clothing.  This child will challenge father’s command by going to his mother for her opinion.  He appeals to her by saying that it is not the outside appearance that counts but what lives within.  The moment mother starts making concessions for the sake of pleasing the child, she holds in contempt the order God has put in the family.  This can happen in a good relationship and with the appropriate steps can be put right again.  In a bad relationship, something like this only serves to drive the wedge further between the parents.  This in turn jeopardises the ability of parents to create a healthy environment where spiritual growth of the children is not hindered.

This same example can be used with Christ and His Church.  If the Church does not embrace all of God’s commandments written in His Word, the Church is no longer a faithful Bride.  It no longer creates a healthy environment where spiritual growth is built up.  The best way any parents can teach their children that God comes first in their lives is by being living examples.

Any hypocrisy in our lives is quickly picked up by the children and thus renders the parents ineffective in their God given task.  For example:  If you teach your children that God should come first in our lives and yet as parents show more enthusiasm for sport, whether by participating or as a spectator, we become guilty not only of breaking the first commandment but we also fail in teaching this commandment.  Therefore, to reflect the faithfulness of God, we must be faithful to Him.

There is still one other characteristic of God that we should cover.  That is God’s justice.  How are we to image this characteristic?

God promises His blessing if we obey His commandments.  This is not just PUNISHMENT for DISOBEDIENCE but also REWARD for OBEDIENCE.  Deuteronomy 28 speaks of both.  Therefore we as parents need to acknowledge both aspects.  The importance of discipline can be seen in the message the prophet sends to Eli.  We read that Eli reprimands his sons by warning them not to behave the way they were.  A reprimand is fine but that is not where it should stop.  Eli knew what was happening.  Yet he failed to do something about it.

In 1 Samuel 2:28 we read, “Why do you kick at My sacrifice and My offering which I have commanded in My habitation, and honour your sons more than Me, to make yourselves fat with the best of all the offerings of Israel, My people?”

We will not go into what Eli should have done but having the cloak of High Priest he carried the task of ultimate authority and teacher in Israel.  His failure to act, in turn, had consequences.  God reveals them to Samuel in His first revelation to Samuel.  1 Samuel 3:11-14: “Then the Lord said to Samuel, ‘behold, I will do something in Israel at which both ears of everyone who hears it will tingle.  In that day I will perform against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end.  For I have told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows, because his sons made themselves vile, and he did not restrain them.  And therefore I have sworn to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice of offering forever.’”

God here proclaims the ultimate end of His justice to those who are disobedient.  Which parent could bear to think that their child is headed to this end?  Therefore discipline is placed first and foremost in the hands of parents.  Proverbs 23:13-14 says, “Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.  You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell.”

That this discipline reflects God’s discipline is confirmed in Hebrews 12.  Therefore let us not be slack to discipline but see its importance.  Yet be careful that your discipline is out of LOVE and not ANGER or wounded pride.  Your child, when he is disobedient is firstly disobedient to God!

Once again we refer back to God’s MERCY.  It is a distinct part of His character, which also was revealed after our fall into sin.  Do WE as parents also have to image this?  We can only answer with a definite YES.  After the fall into sin, God also came to US.  In our despair He extended His hand of mercy.

After giving our child a hiding, we need not wait for them to come to us with apologies, even though it is good for them to acknowledge their guilt.  They also need to learn that wrongs committed are not really against US but against GOD.  Our children need God’s mercy shown in Christ’s atoning sacrifice.  Let them learn to embrace this as their only hope and not hold it in contempt, as Eli’s sons did.

More than 65 years ago a Dutch book was published, titled:  ‘Aan Moeders Hand tot Jezus’ (freely translated: ‘Led to Jesus by Mother’s Hand’), written by Dr J. Waterink.  What follows here is a passing on of some thoughts we read in one of the chapters dealing with discipline.

As we can understand, the chapter deals not with all the problems and questions concerning discipline.  The author restricts himself to concentrating on the impact mother’s discipline has on the religious upbringing of these youngsters.  Next to prayer and instructions, mother’s discipline is one of the most important means to ‘bring the child to Jesus’.

When exercising discipline (punishment included), mothers must be very careful not to make the child lose heart.  There are mothers who are rather ‘generous’ in telling the young ones off time and time again.  However, the danger is that they do this out of a negative attitude; that is to say, they concentrate on the things the young ones are not allowed to do.  A mother therefore, who constantly only says: “don’t do this, don’t do that, leave that alone’, etc. can give the child a feeling of dejectedness, thinking that it is very hard to please mother.  The child shuts itself up in its own world, becoming rather selfish and may try to please itself.

Mothers must never forget that the character of discipline should be constructive; not only telling the child what it did wrong but also show what pleases the Lord.  Yet even in this respect they should be careful not to only say: ‘the Lord does not like what you did’.  For then the child may conclude that the service of the Lord consists of not doing a lot of things, or, to use Paul’s words in Col. 2:21: ‘Do not handle, do not touch, do not taste’.  The fear of God is not: to make sure that we do nothing against the Lord but that we live for Him.  Mothers’ discipline therefore should always be focussed on the positives.

A little example might make clear what is meant.  Four-year-old Katie (the youngest of five children, and somewhat spoilt) found it difficult to share e.g. her lollies and her toys with other children.  Her mother realised that, if her daughter’s attitude would not change, Katie would grow up to become a girl who would give reign to her selfishness.  She had to learn to sacrifice precious things for the benefit of others.  In short: to love her neighbour as herself.

Mother explained to young Katie that everything belongs to the Lord, also her lollies and beautiful dolls.  She also told her about the many poor children, children whom the Lord had created, who never get any lollies and certainly do not possess expensive toys.

In the end Katie learned to bring sacrifices.  With her mother’s help she became obedient to God’s commandments.

A last remark: children need discipline.  Mothers have the privilege to lead them but the greatest help comes from mothers and fathers who in their daily walk of life show the comfort and joy of Lord’s Day 1: we are not our own, we belong to our faithful Saviour, Jesus Christ.

A child receives something.  In a shop she is given a lolly.  Or she receives a present.  You can hear Dad or Mum saying:  “What do you say?”  “Thankyou”, and the lolly is quickly put in her mouth.  When you receive something or if someone does something for you, you say:  “Thankyou”.  Sometimes you even add some flowers to your “thankyou”.  That underlines the thankfulness. 

When you have been in hospital and are allowed to go home, you thank the nurses and the doctor.  They did not make you well but they did do their best for you.  They took care of you and when you are well again, your thankfulness is great.  You still remember how ill you felt when you were taken to hospital.

In our life with God we also know of thankfulness.  Thankfulness for His enormous love.  Thankfulness that God was willing to give us so much.  His own Son was crucified for us.  Through Christ we are saved from all misery and distress in our life.  However, thankfulness often has little meaning in our life.

It is so easily taken for granted.  Maybe you are far too busy or you

find it all very self evident.

Think of the ten lepers.  Jesus met them on His journey to Jerusalem.  Leprosy was a terrible illness.  There was no medication for it in those days.  Through this illness you found yourself in complete isolation.  You were not allowed to have contact with anyone.  Only with other lepers.  Those ten must have met one another during the course of time and had stayed together.  Jesus heals them.  And yet, they don’t come to thank Him.  Only the Samaritan among the ten comes back to thank Jesus.  He falls at His feet and glorifies God.  Everyone present notices how excited this man is.  The other nine did not come with him.

This man is no better than the others but his attitude is different.  He alone comes back.  He glorifies God and falls in front of Jesus.  He makes the connection between God and Jesus, which the people in Jerusalem refused to make.  Jesus can be anyone but not someone sent by God, much less the Son of God!  This man is thankful.  Deeply thankful.  The miracle of his cure has altered his existence.  He is not just cured.  He has become a different person.  Full of thankfulness towards God. 

The other nine do not come back to render thanks.  They think it is their right to be healed, that they could claim this from Jesus.  They fully believed in His power.  They would like to journey unnoticed as well.  If Jesus said that it was possible, then it would happen.  There was no doubt about the possibility.  But they do not know thankfulness for the miracle.  They do not glory and praise God for the miracle He has performed.

Don’t we often walk on the path of those nine?  We are saved, yes of course.  You live like a Christian.  Who dares to say something about that?  But you have lost the miracle, the miracle of healing, of a new life.  Christ gives new life.  Those lepers could live again too.  They came out of their isolation.  The miracle of their healing underlines the fact that Jesus gives new life.

A small child falls in the water.  A boy who jumps into the water saves the child.  Later on the parents of the child don’t know how to thank the boy.  They would like to give him all sorts of things because he has saved their son, their daughter.  They are incredibly thankful.  They will never forget it.

Christ gives new life to you.  You receive that in faith.  In your life with God you marvel about it time and again.  The gospel of salvation which alters your life has made an indelible impression.

That thankfulness colours your life.  It permeates your daily work, your care for your family, your friendships, your responsibility for others and your relaxation.

A Christian lives in thankfulness.  You realise that everything you receive comes from God.  A new life but also your health, your strength, insight and wisdom, gifts of art and music, gifts to distribute and to listen.  That thankfulness remains, even when things go wrong.  When you are in pain or have sorrow.  Life with God is a life of thankfulness.  That can be seen.

Translated article by Ds J Ophoff, “Reformatie”, December 1999

Isn’t it odd how we cannot find anything to say in our prayer and how many things we can find to talk about to our friend?

Isn’t it odd how difficult we find it to read a whole chapter from the Bible and how easy that is with a hundred pages from a “best-seller”?

Isn’t it odd how we need two or three weeks to put something from the Church on our agenda but are able to adapt our agenda at the last minute for other things?

 

Translated from the Reformatie, dated 18 December 1999

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Possibly you have on your bookshelf a book by this same author.  He was a minister for many years in the Church of England.  He lived from 1816 - 1900.  This particular booklet was passed on to us via the Internet but we have not managed to find a copy of this book in the bookshops.  However we can provide you with the website or a photocopy of this booklet.

This booklet is in essence a word of exhortation from a minister who wishes to give some sound hints about the right training of children.  He wants parents to look critically at themselves to see if in this matter they are doing what they ought to be doing.  His starting point is in the text of Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”  With this quotation he states that God has never yet laid a command on man which He would not give man the grace to perform.  Furthermore, we as parents must simply go ahead in straightforward obedience and faith since the path of obedience is the way in which He gives His blessings.  As at the wedding at Cana the servants simply had to fill the vats with water, and Jesus Himself changed the water into wine, so also parents simply have to train their children in obedience to God’s command and God Himself will give the blessings.

Ryle states “The vast majority of children are manifestly not trained in the way they should go, for when they grow up to man’s estate, they do not walk with God”.  He speaks about the impressionistic minds of young children, which God Himself has given them so that parents can have a golden opportunity for training these young minds.  These early years especially must not be wasted, not neglected.  Once they’ve been wasted by parents who do nothing, these moments are gone forever.  However Ryle also points out that parents can not convert their own child.  Those “who are born again are born, not of the will of man, but of God.”  Ryle also emphasizes that parents will often see the faults that others make but they are blind to their own faults.  He says, “I have sometimes been perfectly astonished at the slowness of sensible Christian parents to allow that their own children are in fault, or deserve blame.”  The sound hints, which Ryle gives, are organized under 17 headings, which are then elaborated on by him using God’s Word as a basis for sound explanations. 

Some headings he uses are:-

Train them in the way they should go, and not in the way they would.

Train up your child with all tenderness, affection and patience.

Train your children with an abiding persuasion on your mind that much depends on you.

Train with this thought continually before your eyes - that the soul of your child is the first thing to be considered.

Train your child to a knowledge of the Bible.

Train them to a habit of prayer.

Further he speaks about telling the truth, diligently attending Church, not spending time in idleness, the danger of over-indulging children, the example of how God trains His children, and giving a good example.  The power of sin is mentioned in order to guard against unscriptural expectations.  We must remember our total depravity.  The promises of Scripture are mentioned to prevent parents getting discouraged.  Lastly the need to continually pray while training your children is mentioned, with Jacob, Joseph, Abraham, Manoah and Job as examples.

This booklet of JC Ryle is well worth reading.  It is worthwhile to keep these hints in mind in fulfilling our very important, very responsible tasks as parents.

By A. Amoraal: amoraal@iinet.net.au